Exploring the Stages of Grief Part One

Grief is a universal experience that touches every human life, yet we often feel unprepared when it arrives at our doorstep. In this deeply moving podcast episode from Acorn Christian Healing Foundation, the profound dimensions of grief are explored through both clinical understanding and spiritual wisdom. What makes this conversation particularly valuable is how it weaves together Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's well-known stages of grief with biblical insights that provide hope and comfort to those walking through the valley of loss.

We begin by acknowledging that grief extends beyond the loss of loved ones. While death certainly brings profound grief, we also grieve lost dreams, broken relationships, unfulfilled hopes, and altered life paths. This broader understanding of grief helps us recognize that our feelings of loss in various situations are valid expressions of grief that deserve attention and care. The conversation then explores how Kübler-Ross's model offers a framework for understanding grief, while emphasizing that grief is rarely a linear process. Instead, as Kris and Lisa wisely note, grief often spirals – we may revisit stages multiple times, sometimes experiencing several simultaneously.

Denial, the first stage, is explored as a protective mechanism. Kris recalls witnessing families in hospital settings, people often cry out "this can't be real" or continue behaviors that suggest the loss hasn't occurred. This psychological shock serves as a buffer against overwhelming pain, allowing us to process reality at a pace we can manage. The biblical response offers powerful comfort: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5), reminding us that even when we cannot comprehend our circumstances, God holds us securely.

The anger stage reveals how grief often manifests as rage seeking an outlet. Lisa and Kris candidly discuss how this anger may be directed at healthcare providers, family members, oneself, or even God. Rather than suppressing this anger, the conversation suggests that expressing it appropriately – particularly to God – can be healing and authentic. The image of Biblical figures who questioned and even raged at God provides validation for these intense emotions, showing that honest anger is part of a dynamic relationship with the Divine.

Bargaining emerges as a natural human response to feeling powerless. Kris and Lisa insightfully observe how people attempt to negotiate with God, making promises in exchange for relief from suffering. While acknowledging this as a normal stage, they gently challenge the misconception that our relationship with God works through transactional bargaining rather than transformational surrender. Depression, perhaps the most recognized aspect of grief, is discussed with compassionate understanding. We distinguish between situational sadness and clinical depression while validating the profound heaviness that accompanies loss, pointing to Psalm 42's honest acknowledgment of despair alongside a determination to hope.

Finally, acceptance is presented not as forgetting or "getting over it," but as finding peace within a new reality. As Kris beautifully expresses, acceptance involves "finding a way to live functionally in the world, carrying our brokenness with us." This perspective reframes grief as something we integrate into our lives rather than something we leave behind. The episode concludes with powerful reminders from Scripture that God "heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3) and that those who mourn are blessed and will be comforted (Matthew 5:4).

This thoughtful exploration of grief through both psychological and spiritual lenses offers listeners a comprehensive guide to understanding their own grief journey or supporting others through theirs. By interweaving professional insights with spiritual wisdom, the podcast provides a compassionate framework that honors the complexity of human suffering while offering genuine hope anchored in faith. Most importantly, it reminds us that in our darkest moments of grief, we are never alone – God remains faithfully present, bringing light to our darkness.

Watch and listen to the episode here.